


O! Yearning envelops my soul

by ThoughtfulMess



Category: Romeo And Juliet - All Media Types, Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Death, Kissing, M/M, Metaphors, POV First Person, Some Humor, Swordfighting, Swords, Unrequited, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:00:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22934461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThoughtfulMess/pseuds/ThoughtfulMess
Summary: 4 major scenes told from mercutio's point of view. This man is in LOVE alright. All he wants is a little kiss from Romeo is that so hard.
Relationships: Juliet Capulet/Romeo Montague, Mercutio/Romeo Montague
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	O! Yearning envelops my soul

**Author's Note:**

> I fell in love with this play in 9th grade and I havent been able to quench my need for my more content. So here we are! My memory might be a bit rusty of the book but I hope it's fine.

Hiding behind so many masks I have lost my true self. stuffed behind slews of characters I have created, my personality cowers. for you, romeo, i am naught but a silly friend who delights in pleasantries and rolls around in pure hedonism. so steadfast I am in this that you have never seen me as I am, dopey and crying out for your love. the pursuit of your love encases me completely-it has become more loyal to me than your friendship has. I can rely on it just as much as I can rely on you to fall shallowly in love with any girl who walks past you. my wish for my love to be returned is strong enough that I stumble sometimes in my actions towards you. my gaze upon you lingers often-as do my hands when you are close enough for us to brush against each other. I am not as stoic as I make myself out to be, and if you really looked romeo, you would find the cracks by the edges of me, like I am some porcelain pitcher, antique and ready to break at a moments notice. 

I offered an exciting plan-crashing the Capulet's party. You were still hung up on Rosaline, the girl who had turned you down. Getting up to our usual teenage antics seemed easy-something to placate your longing and sadness for a little while. We could get drunk, it didn't matter, take the Capulets wine and run, drink it underneath their towering fountain. Or, find someone to dance the night away with, a body pressing into you and soothing your touch starved nerves. I suppose I didn't really think, didn't really know, that you would fall in love with the Capulet's daughter. Romeo, why did you put yourself in such danger? Why did you rush into it so fast? You were never one for thinking things through but even this-this had been so reckless. It was later that I left the party, stumbling and with a cloudy mind. I had seen the way you two had put your hands together, whispering into each other's ears and pressing pressing pressing into one another. I couldn't bear it, then, I left in a flurry with concerned and perceptive (so stupidly perceptive) benvolio by my side. A few tears may have escaped in my wine drunk haze- my emotions clawing each other as my guard slipped down like prisoners against a cracked wall, their bloody nails scraping against the stone. It was then that Benvolio put his hand against my shoulder, consoling and concerned. He looked at me and his eyes reached deep into me, conveying a message of "mercutio, mercutio, what are you going to do?" I shook my head at him and shrugged him off-slipping him a smile to show I appreciated his loyalty and friendship. 

The next time I saw you, you were bright and jovial, a complete whiplash from your emotions that had consumed you not two days past. Seeing you filled with mirth, was comforting. I hated to see you bleary eyed and restless, it pained me physically like a sword to the abdomen-twisting, twisting causing sharp shooting pains throughout my whole body. The only thing I could do when you were like that, was comfort you. However, my arms were never the ones you wanted entwined with yours. My mouth, spilling words from the wrong person. My eyes, wet around the edges, were not the sea green blue you wanted to look into. I knew that if you closed your eyes, you could almost pretend I was someone else as you leaned into me, craving the touch you never got from the girls you pursued. In those times, I was your shoulder to cry into, and I cherished the moments with you curled around me. But, now, you were back to your normal cheerful self, and I was glad of it. Until you leaned close into me with a sly smile and wink and whispered you had just gotten married. I pushed you away, crying out admonishes. How could you! You're so young! With the Capulet's daughter? You laughed at me, your eyes twinkling, and so how could I be upset? When every second you looked at me with a merry expression I wanted to match it with my own laugh, reveling together. My jealousy lurked in the recesses of me and I pushed it down, not wanting to taint any time I had with you with my own shameful emotions. Punching you in the shoulder I laughed too, and we changed the subject, staggering to the town square. 

I went home that night and laid my head on my pillow, soaking the sheet with my tears. All these emotions, swelling up like vines twisting through me, choking my throat and constricting my heart. In the midst of my weeping I allowed myself to pretend. There you were now, pushing my hair off my forehead. There you were, pulling me close to your chest, gently moving your hand on my back. I could feel the ghost of this touch if I focused enough. I pretended you were now pulling my chin close to you, looking me deep in the eyes and softly kissing my lips. In this situation you would start to kiss all over my face-my tear stained cheeks, my eyelids, my jaw, the corner of my mouth before bringing your lips back to mine. I moaned into the pillow, then, clutching it to me, trying to keep the fantasy alive. Continuing, I imagined you smiling at me as you pulled away for a second, your lips red and your cheeks blushing. I'd whisper a simple "I love you" and you'd nuzzle my neck and say it back. All these things I thought, as my weary body drifted off to sleep.

It's not like I was oblivious-I could see both families gearing up for a war. The tensions were high as I walked the dusty streets with benvolio, and I was itching, itching for a fight. Something filled with enough passion that I could forget my ugly jealousy and yearning for Romeo as I leaped around with a sword. 

Tybalt was perfect for that-insulting Romeo and getting pushy. It was all I could do to pull out my sword with a flourish and start a brawl. we danced around each other in a mist of rage as we parried and blocked. yes, yes this was perfect. my mind centered on one thing only, to defeat tybalt and have both parties walk away scowling. It was then that I heard an all too familiar voice. Romeo, pleading with us to stop. I couldn't stop now. My chest heaved and my brow was slick from sweat and I wasn't done with this fight goddamnit. I turned for a second, a mere second, to look at Romeo, to acknowledge he was there, to gaze at him like he was a flower, blooming in a land filled with weeds. And that's when I felt a searing pain go through me. A sharp sharp sharp pain, white hot, and twisting into me. At that moment, I knew this was it. My time on earth, my time with Romeo, all draining away like the blood that was leaking out of my body, dripping down the steps. This was not how I thought I'd die, defeated by someone in swordsmanship who was so terrible at it, had there been a manual on how to play, he would never have read it. I didn't think I'd die with Romeo crying over my body as I felt my consciousness drift away. I didn't think I'd die with a foolhardy hope- that romeo would lean down and press his lips to mine, like two hands pressing together in prayer. Alas, but Romeo held me in his arms and I relished his heat and comfort next to me as I exited the world.

a simple "I love you" passed my lips right before I closed my eyes. Words I had never said and words I would never repeat.


End file.
